Oh, baby…

Originally published at erin-go-blog!. You can comment here or there.

Sometimes, I have a hard time understanding people. Via a link I clicked to through another link this morning, I read a long discussion about infertility and adoption and various options.

The insensitivity and rudeness astounds me, of course, but these comments really got under my skin:

It is important to understand that it is easier to conceive a child when both male and female are younger (below 30). That is how nature created us.

So it’s important to settle down in life and have a child sooner in life rather than waiting and exploring science (IVF etc).

For the life of me, I can’t understand what is wrong with the world. A woman has the best chance of having a “healthy” baby if the baby is conceived prior to age 30. With each year that passes 30 the risks (for mother as well as child) begin to pile up. I don’t know what they are teaching in school these days, but when I was in school in the 60’s this information was taught in “health” class. So, if a young woman had the idea that someday she’d like to be a mother, she was armed with the facts. If she ignored those facts, she was at least aware of the consequences that might be hers. This is the fact of the matter. A woman over 40 certainly may conceive, but if she does so, her health and the health of her baby will be at risk (not might be: will be). SO. With all the helpless, homeless babies out there in the world, who Need a home, and who Need someone to love and care for them, why on earth would a woman (who has, by her own choices, blown by her healthy childbearing years) not consider adopting one of these most needy children??

(emphasis mine)

As a soon-to-be 33-year-old woman, I can’t help but take statements like these personally.

Read the rest of this entry »

Oh, baby…

Originally published at erin-go-blog!. You can comment here or there.

Sometimes, I have a hard time understanding people. Via a link I clicked to through another link this morning, I read an article by a woman who decided on adoption after trying fertility treatments, and then a long discussion about infertility and adoption and various options in response to the article.

The insensitivity and rudeness astounds me, of course, but these comments really got under my skin:

It is important to understand that it is easier to conceive a child when both male and female are younger (below 30). That is how nature created us.

So it’s important to settle down in life and have a child sooner in life rather than waiting and exploring science (IVF etc).

For the life of me, I can’t understand what is wrong with the world. A woman has the best chance of having a “healthy” baby if the baby is conceived prior to age 30. With each year that passes 30 the risks (for mother as well as child) begin to pile up. I don’t know what they are teaching in school these days, but when I was in school in the 60’s this information was taught in “health” class. So, if a young woman had the idea that someday she’d like to be a mother, she was armed with the facts. If she ignored those facts, she was at least aware of the consequences that might be hers. This is the fact of the matter. A woman over 40 certainly may conceive, but if she does so, her health and the health of her baby will be at risk (not might be: will be). SO. With all the helpless, homeless babies out there in the world, who Need a home, and who Need someone to love and care for them, why on earth would a woman (who has, by her own choices, blown by her healthy childbearing years) not consider adopting one of these most needy children??

(emphasis mine)

As a soon-to-be 33-year-old woman, I can’t help but take statements like these personally.

Read the rest of this entry »