Wedding Wednesday–the blogs

[erinwrites]

Originally published at erin-go-blog!. You can comment here or there.

I have a love-hate relationship with wedding blogs. Well, it’s mostly hate, but for some strange reason, I cannot seem to look away.

I don’t even read that many of them…I saved a couple in Bloglines so that I could come back to them every now and then. Every once in a while, I see something cute or clever or fun, which is apparently enough to keep me coming back.

Mostly though, they’re just symptoms of this all-pervasive bride culture I’ve complained about before. Girls going on and on and on about their dream weddings and dream photographers and dream cakes and so on. Making it seem as if it’s altogether reasonable to spend $200 on shoes. (I guess for some people $200 for shoes is entirely reasonable. I am not one of those people…)

*Speaking of shoes, I was recently chided for not updating the masses on my shoe decision. That would be because there hasn’t been a shoe decision.  I didn’t send the Skechers back. I’ve decided that I’ll wait and see how they look with the dress, and if I don’t end up wearing them, I’ll just have a cute pair of summery shoes.

Anyway, some of the things that bridey bride brides agonize over just make me roll my eyes. Shall I (gasp!) print my envelopes, or must I hand address? Who cares? I’m of the “do what makes you happy” camp (unless, of course, what makes you happy is being a bridezilla and making everyone you love hate you). I suppose there are etiquette sticklers who do care, but really…have you ever changed your opinion of someone because of the way their wedding invitation was addressed? I know I haven’t…and what’s more, if anyone I knew changed their opinion of ME over something so trivial, well, I’d kind of prefer they stayed home anyway.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

I have lots of bloggy catching up to do…and I will get to it, eventually. I want to write about some of my Christmas loot, and some of the crafty things I did, and New Year’s Eve. I hope you all were able to ring in the new year in a way that made you happy. I know I did!

(pssst…guess what? We’re getting married this year! Whee!) 

Comments

[singingpatient.livejournal.com]

i think it's very sad that some people get so caught up in things being martha stewart perfect. because then god forbid anything go wrong (and something will), you may very well have a meltdown in the middle of you big day. people forget what it's really about- it's about 2 people who love each other makinga lifetime commitment to each other and that love, and friends and family gathering around to support that decision.

I have been to a chintzy wedding that were sweet and memorable (i played guitar and sang for a couple's 2nd wedding, out in the middle of nowhere by a creek, with one witness and a reverend fo some sort who incorporated readings from many different religions/ traditions).

i've been to ritzy weddings i found quite forgettable. they must have spent a fortune on the damn thing, but it felt very cookie cutter- formal dinner, followed by dj leading electric slide and such (insert bride and groom here). that was NJ. i'm sure they spent $100,000, easy.

a pair of friends got married at a state park, had about 100 guests, then BBQ buffet and a bluegrass band. it was great.

here are the things i agonized over, and i'm glad i did:
my dress (not the shoes though)
the band's set list
giving the photographer a list of pictures i wanted taken
registering for gifts
making sure someone was going to do a toast at the reception
making sure at least 2 friends performed songs about us at the reception
including our young nieces and nephews in the wedding party
making sure our guests were well-fed and entertained
making sure we had a videographer
choosing the readings and prayers for the service

nothing is ever going to be perfect, and even if it were, who would care about it? people love and remember a wedding because they care about the people there, and hopefully it is *fun* and a little different- it reflects their personalities. and Joe would say, the FOOD, don't forget the FOOD! (and i would say use real musicians!)

the great part about waiting to get married, as opposed to being 18-24 or so, is you don't get all swept up in this "everything has to be perfect" kind of cinderella complex. it's more important to have meaning and heart.

so try to be patient with these poor souls on the blogs.

BTW have you seen anyu of the wedding reality shows on tv? i couldn't turn away from those before my wedding- wild weddings, worst weddings ever, the one in the bridal salon about the perfect dress, the what not to wear bride episode. wait, it'll come around again in may or june!

[singingpatient.livejournal.com]

oh yeah, one more tv show- the wedding planner! wow what some people spend! and go into life long debt to do it. so wrong! let's see, we could buy a house or a party. eenie meenie miney mo...

[singingpatient.livejournal.com]

one of the wedding planner episodes, the bride and groom were fighting on the day of ansd were goign to walk away from the whole thing. and i thought they should have, after seeing them interact for the whole plannning part. but the planner basically talked them into following through with it, right then and there. which i think was WRONG!!! i'm sure she was just seeing dollar signs. so wrong.

one more thing i think you *should* agonize over- your hairdo.

[erinwrites.livejournal.com]

I don't have cable, or I'd probably be sucked in! I did catch an episode of rich bride, poor bride while home for christmas!!

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

(pssst…guess what? We’re getting married this year! Whee!)

Heeheeheeheehee. I found myself saying that to myself (and everyone else) an awful lot. :D

[erinwrites.livejournal.com]

:D

[vixyish.livejournal.com]

And again... I guess it comes down to deciding in advance what matters to you and what doesn't. I think that might be why some brides become bridezilla-- I think they haven't really sat down and done that. They think EVERYTHING is important, and they think they'll be judged by it. But nobody's judging you at all (or nobody who's worth anything!) Perhaps they have the sort of mothers or mothers-in-law or friends who *are* judging them. That might well drive *me* crazy!

I cared deeply about my dress and my location, for instance, but not really very much at all about what the bridesmaids were wearing or what the invitations said. We both cared VERY deeply about our vows, because after all, these are the promises that you're making, and they have to mean what you want them to mean. Shoes happened to be easy-- I used to be a dancer, dance shoes are comfy, so that was a no-brainer. :)

Invitations were neato, actually, because my dad and stepmom offered to do them all-- my stepmom LOVES to do that kind of thing, making her own cards and stationery and whatnot-- so I didn't even have to think about them. (They were later very amused to tell me about how my stepmom had sent my dad off to the post office with them, in whatever container was handy at the time-- which happened to be this frilly wicker basket. So my dad said he went traipsing blithely into the post office with a frilly wicker basket full of bright purple envelopes with scrolly writing. Got some amused looks, apparently. Heh.)

[min0taur.livejournal.com]

Congratulations to you both! (However belated...hey, we've been away...)
Two of you and only one (so far as we know) world. You've got it outnumbered.

[erinwrites.livejournal.com]

Thanks! :D